Nightmare Of You (Part Two)
The second (and final) part of our interview with the Nightmare Of You lads.
If it came down to it and you had that fight and were bleeding from a well-placed left hook, which two telephone numbers could you call for an ambulance?
A: 999 or 112
B: 999 or 111
C: 999 or any other digit three times
Brandon: I forgot the country code! I forgot the England code.
Ryan: 999
Brandon: I would call 867-5309. You know that song? [bursts into spontaneous rendition] That's why I said it, I didn't make it up! I'd call that and just hope for the best.
The British are a nation of animal lovers, according to the government, What must all dog owners do?
A: Get a licence
B: Get the dog neutered
C: Get a collar with the owner's name and address
Ryan: C
Brandon: Although it doesn't hurt to neuter your dog. I'm not the biggest fan of neutering an animal, but at the same time, given the situation, there is an excessive number of animals that have to be killed because there are so many of them. You look at what's happening in Japan, dogs are being slaughtered because there are just so many of them and it's so sad. I'd say B and C.
What's the minimum time you must have been married before you can divorce here?
A: Six months
B: One year
C: Two years
Brandon: Are you asking me like a real question here?
Ryan and Joe: 6 months.
Brandon: You know what, given the dismal state of life, I'd say six months.
Well, you're wrong, it's a year.
Who do people say your child belongs to if they don't resemble you?
A: The milkman
B: The window cleaner
C: The postman
Ryan: A
Joe: The postman?
Brandon: What's the C one again? I don't know, all three of those are very clichéd, I thought they were gonna be a little bit more exciting than that. Whatever I say, it's going to be boring. It's probably the milkman, I love milk.
Ryan: You hate milk!
Brandon: I'll put a glass of whole milk in the microwave for like thirty seconds to a minute and curl up next to the fireplace; I'll have my mum there.
Ryan: Oh man! This is a whole new side of you I've never seen before.
Brandon: I will drink whole milk in three seconds.
Ryan: That's crazy.
What is the regional delicacy of Yorkshire?
Ryan: Snails
Brandon: The regional delicacy of where?
Joe: I didn't know they had food they considered delicacies in England.
All: Ooo
Nick: She's being serious
Ryan: What is it?
Yorkshire puddings
Brandon: Oh, Yorkshire puddings'¦is there like the sketchy blood in there? Oh, that's black pudding.
Ryan: That's Scottish, right?
Brandon: Yeah, they eat it with full English's.
Nick: I didn't get one.
Brandon: I ordered a full veggie English breakfast and they brought me four English breakfasts because 'four' I guess sounds like 'full' when you're American. I asked for a full English breakfast and a cappuccino. She was like, 'That'll be £23.'
Ryan: And you gave it to her and you came back and you were like, 'I've just spent £23; how much are those?'
Brandon: I just gave it to her, I was feeling very passive and touristy.
Everybody in England talks like the Queen and comes from London: true or false?
All: False!
Where do you want to be this time next year?
Ryan: Japan
Brandon: I want to be with Noel, hanging out with Tony Blair. Noel fromOasis. Me and Noel, just hanging out with Tony Blair, kicking some right-wing shit.
Nick: And Ricky Gervais as well.
Brandon: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! I want to be writing a book with Karl Pilklington, that's what I want to do.
Ryan: I want to have a pint with Ricky Gervais; that's my one goal in life.
Brandon: I want to pick Karl Pilkington's brain.
And, lastly, why should people buy your music?
Brandon: Because it's great, why else? At least we think it's great at least, or I wouldn't be in England right now, stringing a guitar. I could be in Starbucks just making cappuccinos for people. Why does anyone play music? They think that they have something to say and they
think they're good. And the unfortunate thing is most of them are not, but we are.
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